Friday, September 28, 2007

om nom nom nom




Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Dog Park Rant

Ok, I know at least a few of you have dogs, and I imagine that some of you guys go to dog parks with said dogs. We're lucky enough to have a monster of a 25 acre dog park (with a lake) about 2 minutes down the street from us, so Mr. Bear gets to go at least 3-4 times a week. Dog park people are pretty weird, but most of them are really nice and get how it all works. But you get the occasional retard that really doesn't have a clue, and I feel that I need to call them out.

1. Its a dog park, not day care - Dog parks can be dangerous places. 99% of the dogs at the park are super cool, very friendly and very socialized. Regardless, if you get 5 big dogs running around chasing each other, they don't give a shit if you're standing there enjoying your mocha; they do not pay attention to where they are going and will take you out. This is especially ugly if you're a 3 foot tall kid. I saw some douche there today with a STROLLER! My god.

2. Its a dog park, dogs want to meet each other - The park we go to is huge, so there is a very nice path that goes all the way around the edge of it for walking. This old lady (who was obviously a huge bitch) was CARRYING some sort of little poodle thing and had another crappy little dog walking with her. Naturally, Bear goes up to it and is wagging his tail wanting to meet him. The lady starts kicking her leg at him and yelling like he's doing something wrong. What the hell do you bring your dog to a dog park for? It took every ounce of restraint I had not to let her have it. As she left (and was glaring at me) I flipped her off.

3. Its a dog park, there are big dogs there - Dogs love to be around each other and play. They don't care about breed, sex, age or size; they care about playing. My lab is 7 months old and weighs like 45 pounds. His favorite dogs to play with at the park are a 12 lb beagle and a pair of huge German Shepards. They play very, very hard. If you have a shitty, 3 pound shi-tzu, it will try to play with big dogs, and it will get rolled. Don't get mad when it happens, you let it happen. Just keep it in your dog purse and walk around the mall some more and buy another pair of enormous sunglasses.

4. Dog parks are a privilege, not a right - If your dog sucks, and has never gotten along with another dog during the course of its entire existence, chances are it won't happen just because you decide to bring it to the dog park. My dog is not aggressive and extremely social. He does very well at the dog park. When we used to go to the Eden Prairie dog park, he would play with this 2 year old pit bull for hours. They would run, bite, growl, and knock each other over. They played really hard. Even though Bear isn't aggressive, at that time he didn't have very good "manners" and would irritate older dogs, and this pit never showed any sign of aggression toward him. Some first timer showed up with a dog that walked in and tried to be dominant, and within 30 seconds, this pit had it on the ground by the throat. It could have killed it if it wanted to, but it just put it in its place. The lady freaked nuts, swore at the owner and left. Then the pit went right back to running around and having a good time.

5. Dogs make funny noises when they play - My dog is extremely "vocal" when he plays with other dogs. This intensifies with how hard they are playing. He growls and snarls and barks. His best friend Guinness (a 2 1/2 year old black lab) lives across the street from us and comes over to see bear a few times a week. When they play it literally sounds like they're killing each other. If our dogs are chasing each other around, OBVIOUSLY having a very good time. Don't freak out when they make some noise. I personally guarantee that if they start fighting, you will know. Promise.

That is all. Seacrest out.

Monday, September 24, 2007

An open letter to office end users

If you work in IT, you will appreciate (and relate directly) to this.

Open Letter to Users

1. Be specific. - Don't say your computer is broken. Tell us that Excel crashes when you load the current year budget spreadsheet.

2. Don't lie. - If you screwed something up, be honest. Don't try to hide your mistakes, because we know.

3. Don't get curious. - We have these things called logs and audit trails. If you start snooping where you don't belong, we will find out.

4. Learn the difference between Reply and Reply All. - One goes to one person... The other goes to half the organization.

5. Let's make a deal. - If I fix your home computer, then you can do my taxes, cut my grass, or some other task. It's simple: just because we fix your screw ups on your work PC doesn't mean we want to fix your screw ups on your home PC.

6. Repeat after me: "I do not know anything about computers." - We don't care if you had an Apple II. Do not think that you are an expert and can fix problems, install software, etc.

7. Repeat after me: "I am not computer illiterate." - The computer speaks the same language you do. Just because you are inexperienced does not give you the right to shut off your brain and not learn anything. (If you truly can't read, then you need to start somewhere else besides a computer.)

8. Don't complain about passwords. - I guarantee that the IT staff has twice as many passwords to remember. Get over it. Remember your passwords.

9. Help Desk, Help Desk, Help Desk. - Call the Help Desk first. Do not interrupt me in the break room, bathroom, or any other room. Call the Help Desk first.

10. Learn this fact: Elevators do not come faster when you push the button twenty times, and your printout does not come out faster when you click print twenty times. Simple.

11. Don't be a slob. - Not sure if you are a slob? Well, if your keyboard has crumbs in it and your off-white mouse is now black, then you are a slob. And no one wants to touch that junk.

12. Buy a radio. - Don't ask us to help you connect to your favorite Lite Rock station on the internet. Buy a stupid radio. I promise I won't charge you for the electrcity you use.

13. Buy a book. - If you don't know the difference between your monitor and your computer, buy a book. If you don't know the difference between Windows and Office, buy a book. If you don't know the difference between left and right click—well, never mind, just quit.

14. Don't be so ambitious - No, you may not buy the Internet. However, you may purchase a subscription to an Internet Service provider which will give you access to the Internet. I don't think you have the billions of dollars it would take to buy the whole Internet, even if it were for sale.

15. There is not an "any" key on your keyboard - If you have a college degree and you can't figure out which key to press when we tell you to "hit any key" you should really try to get your money back.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Boots is back

Well, they found the boot. He was apparently down in Lacrosse, Wisconsin going to school and working and didn't bother to tell anyone. So that mystery is solved. I'll fix the other posts tonight, not sure what happened.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

motivators


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Boots is missing

Well, this is going to sound pretty strange, but here it goes:

Shea called me the other day wondering if I'd talked to Bootsy (Adam Cariveau) lately. Apparently he's gone missing, and his parents, friends and family can't find him. His phone is disconnected, he quit his job, moved out of his place, etc.

Bootsy is kind of nortorious for doing things like this (vanishing into the woods for 3 weeks, stuff like that) but its very weird that absolutely no one has heard from him. He went from talking to his folks on the phone EVERY day to just nothing, and its been over a month now that no one has seen or heard from him. He was living in Hutchinson MN going to school, but apparently no one can track him down. His folks are going to file a missing persons report this week I believe, but I was hoping that one of you had run across him somewhere.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Busy weekend

Sorry for the lack of posts, we've been real busy with the little guy and trying to finish up some projects around the house. This weekend we replaced an old atrium door with a new sliding glass door (which was an adventure) and the old shitty wood entry door on our garage with a new steel one. Here are a couple pics (note the massive hole in the house, always fun).


The Large hole during:

The (almost) finished product. We still need to do the interior and exterior trim.