Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Dog Park Rant

Ok, I know at least a few of you have dogs, and I imagine that some of you guys go to dog parks with said dogs. We're lucky enough to have a monster of a 25 acre dog park (with a lake) about 2 minutes down the street from us, so Mr. Bear gets to go at least 3-4 times a week. Dog park people are pretty weird, but most of them are really nice and get how it all works. But you get the occasional retard that really doesn't have a clue, and I feel that I need to call them out.

1. Its a dog park, not day care - Dog parks can be dangerous places. 99% of the dogs at the park are super cool, very friendly and very socialized. Regardless, if you get 5 big dogs running around chasing each other, they don't give a shit if you're standing there enjoying your mocha; they do not pay attention to where they are going and will take you out. This is especially ugly if you're a 3 foot tall kid. I saw some douche there today with a STROLLER! My god.

2. Its a dog park, dogs want to meet each other - The park we go to is huge, so there is a very nice path that goes all the way around the edge of it for walking. This old lady (who was obviously a huge bitch) was CARRYING some sort of little poodle thing and had another crappy little dog walking with her. Naturally, Bear goes up to it and is wagging his tail wanting to meet him. The lady starts kicking her leg at him and yelling like he's doing something wrong. What the hell do you bring your dog to a dog park for? It took every ounce of restraint I had not to let her have it. As she left (and was glaring at me) I flipped her off.

3. Its a dog park, there are big dogs there - Dogs love to be around each other and play. They don't care about breed, sex, age or size; they care about playing. My lab is 7 months old and weighs like 45 pounds. His favorite dogs to play with at the park are a 12 lb beagle and a pair of huge German Shepards. They play very, very hard. If you have a shitty, 3 pound shi-tzu, it will try to play with big dogs, and it will get rolled. Don't get mad when it happens, you let it happen. Just keep it in your dog purse and walk around the mall some more and buy another pair of enormous sunglasses.

4. Dog parks are a privilege, not a right - If your dog sucks, and has never gotten along with another dog during the course of its entire existence, chances are it won't happen just because you decide to bring it to the dog park. My dog is not aggressive and extremely social. He does very well at the dog park. When we used to go to the Eden Prairie dog park, he would play with this 2 year old pit bull for hours. They would run, bite, growl, and knock each other over. They played really hard. Even though Bear isn't aggressive, at that time he didn't have very good "manners" and would irritate older dogs, and this pit never showed any sign of aggression toward him. Some first timer showed up with a dog that walked in and tried to be dominant, and within 30 seconds, this pit had it on the ground by the throat. It could have killed it if it wanted to, but it just put it in its place. The lady freaked nuts, swore at the owner and left. Then the pit went right back to running around and having a good time.

5. Dogs make funny noises when they play - My dog is extremely "vocal" when he plays with other dogs. This intensifies with how hard they are playing. He growls and snarls and barks. His best friend Guinness (a 2 1/2 year old black lab) lives across the street from us and comes over to see bear a few times a week. When they play it literally sounds like they're killing each other. If our dogs are chasing each other around, OBVIOUSLY having a very good time. Don't freak out when they make some noise. I personally guarantee that if they start fighting, you will know. Promise.

That is all. Seacrest out.


Eric said...

I'm anti-dog park. They keep trying to put one in GF and I heard it might finally be going through. Boooo!!! As far as I'm concerned, if you live in a city, in a house with an average yard, don't buy a giant ass dog that needs a 25 acre park to graze in.

Heather said...

Hilarious. I love it. You forgot to add that dogs poop at the dog park. Some people seem to forget that there is a possibility of poop being on the ground at the dog park. Weird.

shellyfire said...

Whoa, there's chicks here now?

Brian said...

Excellent blog post Foxy.

tonia said...

Go Dog Park! Good post. You are fortunate to have a nice one so close. Fargo's dog parks suck... think of a chain link fence around a piece of land the size of Blockbuster video. No trees, no path.

Anti-dog park Eric may not realize that the dog park is a socializing place for dogs to interact with other dogs and people- not just exercise. Doesn't matter the size of dog you have. (But I guess I'm partial to weiners.)

Justin Fox said...

Dog parks are awesome. There is no way I could give bear the kind of exercise he gets running around balls out with other dogs.

For those that don't know, Tonia, does in fact, love wieners.

Justin Fox said...

Oh, and TWO strollers there today btw.

Trent said...

I just wanted to chime in late. Dog parks rule and some people are clueless.
Love the post Fox!

shellyfire said...

hey tonia and trent, maybe you don't realize it's not my problem you don't have friends with dogs that you can hang out with. I'm sorry you are introverts, but it's sure as hell not the tax payers responsibility to supply you with an area where you're dogs can sniff ass. Put it on a leash and walk it around the block like a normal person and stop driving up taxes.

Megan.Anamarie said...

I'm very anti dog park. I have taken My 6 month year old german shepherd, Marley there since he was very young, just so he could socialize early in age. The last couple of times I have gone I have been so irrated by the people, that I just have to leave. Today was the last time I will ever go to any dog park. I ended up getting in 3 yelling arguments with retard people that don't have a clue about anything.

My dog is a pup, he wants to play...that's what I thought most dogs to when they go to the dog park...but not some people. Some dick head brought his two dogs that looked like they were 100 years old and were very old, and could barly walk...so they just sat there with there stupid owner...and my dog went up to them to play...and the owner kept pushing him off and looking at us to come pull him away. I told the retard that he just wants to play...and that he should just stay in their backyard if there just going to sit around...its bullshit I have to stay on half the fucking dog park because This asshole gets mad if my dog comes over to play! I lost it on the fucker...i cant stand it.

Then some bitch was pushing Marley off of her dog, I came up to her and asked her what her problem was and she said she didnt want her dog playing with my german shepherd...and that her dog was bitten by a german shepherd...and that her dog doesn't like german shepherds....!!What is wrong with people?!?! First of all my dog is the most gentle loving dog...not to mention he is a fucking puppy...but this women is just unbelievable.

Then some old fart starts bitching at my because Marley was jumping on the old ass sick dogs....I just told him where to go and to mind his god damn business...Who do people think they are.?!! The majority of people at the dog park are fucking losers...and they drive me. In my opinion real dogs don't go to the dog park anyways.

i also see people who bring small children to the dog park, and the owners will flip if the dogs jump up on their kids!!!! WTF! Its a god damn dog park...not a playground. There dogs...there going to jump up, especially young dogs that arent 100% trained. Doesnt help when kids are running and screaming. Drives me up the wall..who brings young kids to a dog park anyways...i would never let my 2 year old walk around in a dog park...like seriously.

Im luckey tho my dad and my fiances dad are both getting german shepherd puppies next month so he will have dogs to play with....so absolutly no reason to go back to the loser dog park.
We are also going to be buying a house this year out of the city with a couple acres.

Anyways I needed to get that out...people at dog parks drive me...they are just awful! lol

Anonymous said...

To the anti dog parker. I sure hope you don't have a kid that you take to public playgrounds, and I hope you don't play tennis. It's not my fault you chose to reproduce and are too cheap to buy a damn plastic swingset and put it in your yard. And it's not my job to subsidize your tennis habit with my tax dollars. Buy a piece of land and go in with other tennis players to make a court. See how selfish and ridiculous you sound?