Sunday, August 20, 2006


I'm in Knoxville, Tenessee right now, and I've made some observations about the south, here are some:
1. Its hot and humid (no shit huh).
2. There are actual "dry" counties where you can't buy booze. You can buy beer at gas stations though, but if you want booze, you have to get out of Monroe county (where my folks live). Despite this fact, Monroe county has a tremendous amount of drunks. I don't know.
3. Everyone is a Baptist.
4. No one here has ever heard of Guiness or Newcastle, and they will make it clear that you're weird when you ask them for one.
5. Southerners seem to have some customer service issues. They move slow, and its kind of cool for the most part, but when forced to move faster (or do their job faster) southern hospitality goes out the window real quick.
6. I get the feeling that the people here that are from here are actually still very bitter about the civil war, and will bring it up for almost no reason if they find out you're a yankee.
7. Southerners (despite the aforementioned trait of doing things slowly) tailgate the shit out each other. My theory on this is they're drunk and need a large object to focus on while trying to "keep it between the weeds".
8. Southerners looooove loud motorcycles.
9. Since there is no front license plate law here, everyone has a confederate flag license plate filler up front (I swear I saw a Subaru Forrester with a gay pride and grateful dead stickers on it WITH a confederate flag front plate). I'm missing something I think.
10. Despite being in the deep south, I haven't seen one single GIT-R-DONE sticker ANYWHERE (when you can drive down Washington street in GF and see around 40, even though we're all of an hour south of Canada).


brian said...

No Guinness? I suppose that means that Irish Car Bombs aren't available either. Sucky.

Have fun visiting the folks.

Justin Fox said...

Yep, they have no idea what Guiness is. We took the boat to this place about an hour away on the lake to get some ribs and beers and I ordered a Guiness and the waitress looked at me weird and went "a what?" I said "Guiness" like she didn't hear me and she said "what the hell is that?" Gay.

Shelly Fire said...

Did you here about Marty Prather yet?

Shelly Fire said...

CRIME: Robbery suspect is just out of jail

A man recently released from jail is suspected of robbing a bank on UND campus, authorities said.

Martin Prather, 30, was arrested Thursday in connection with the crime, but has been held on other local charges, according to Paul McCabe, FBI Minneapolis division media coordinator.

"We anticipate those charges being filed in the near future," he said.

Prather was charged with theft of property and driving with a suspended license Friday in Northeast Central District Court.

A branch of the Community Bank of the Red River was robbed of an undisclosed amount of cash by a man who came in and demanded money about 10:45 a.m. Thursday, campus Police Chief Duane Czapiewski said.

Authorities said Prather was arrested shortly afterward in a stolen pickup on Interstate 29.

No weapon was found on Prather when he was arrested, Czapiewski said. Authorities said money from the bank was found in the stolen pickup.

Authorities said Prather got out of jail Wednesday after being held on an assault charge and for failing to pay some fines.

Justin Fox said...

OMFG, WTFPRATHER. That guy is seriously a piece of work. He's the dude that stole Morrisey's neon from behind the bike shop that one sunday afternoon at liked 2pm, drove it two blocks, and chris found him dribbling his basketball down the street walking away from it. Wow, just wow.

Shelly Fire said...

He's unique, to be sure. I remember riding the bus with him when I was 13. He was unique then as well.

Justin Fox said...

What was he like when he was young?